Here’s Why Narcissistic Parents Don’t Teach Their Kids about Money

Marlena Eva
3 min readApr 30, 2024

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Narcissists prefer to keep their children in the dark when it comes to money management

Photo by Pixabay

I don’t understand people who think there is no relationship between poor money habits and emotional distress. Money problems could be caused by past emotional trauma or bad money habits learned from your parents.

Narcissists and money

According to Dr Ramani, narcissistic people don’t help their children navigate the world of finances because they see no advantage to this. Narcissists see all relationships in their life as transactional and that includes the relationship with their children.

If they help their adult children at one point, they will expect something in return. Even gifts given by narcissists have a hidden agenda. No gift is given out of the kindness of their heart. The narcissistic parent will want something in return and is usually in the form of narcissistic supply.

When it comes to giving money, narcissists are cheap.

Dr Ramani thinks that whenever narcissists give their money away, they see the other person as ‘taking advantage’ of them. Giving money is done with a bitter taste in their mouth so, to feel better about themselves, they prefer not to give.

Financial education

Narcissistic parents will rarely educate their children on finances. The reason is simple. If the child learns about money management early on, they will be more capable of being independent and separating from their family.

A child who is knowledgeable and financially savvy will have more chances of breaking away from the family system. And a narcissistic parent cannot let this happen.

It is unacceptable for a narcissist to have a child (or adult child) not dependent on them for money, housing, food and social interaction.

The narcissist gets their validation from keeping their children dependent on them. They feel in control when they know the adult child is not capable of being independent, has no skills or is not earning his way in life.

This is a perverted way of keeping the child in a relationship with them. Deep down, the parent knows the child won’t walk away from them if they have no money or resources.

What is more disturbing about it is that the parent believes that there is no reason for the adult child to stay in contact with them once they’re financially independent. They think they’ll be left once the child grows up and gets married or finds an out of state job.

This is the core of a narcissistic parent’s psyche: the feeling that they’re so damaged that they cannot keep anyone in their life willingly. They need to use money, gifts, manipulations and abuse to control the person to give them what they want.

Conclusion

Narcissistic parents are not willing to teach their kids valuable money skills. They’ll discourage them from thinking they can hold a job and earn their way in life by criticizing them or even stopping them from getting a job that values their skills and abilities.

The narcissistic parent’s insecurity makes it impossible to develop a relationship with the adult child that is not based on manipulation or abuse.

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Marlena Eva

MA in Social Psychology. Freelance Writer. Poet. Writes about: narcissism (NPD), relationships, mental health.